How To Love Yourself (In 3 Easy Steps...;)
I find it fascinating that no one really teaches us how to love ourselves. Why in school is there no course entitled, "Self Love 101"? I write about this because to be honest, it is something that I have a bit of trouble with. Despite my Social Media portrayal of confidence and lovely life highlights, I often struggle deeply with my own self worth.
I just turned 30 on April 17th (Go, Aries:) and I feel a difference in my relationship towards myself. People told me prior to 30 that it would be such a powerful and empowering feeling- that I would truly feel different. And I kid you not I do! My twenties were a series of interesting and often painful or challenging events: but with each event, with each "mistake" I kept my awareness intact and I took a deep lesson with me. Upon 30, I realize this: woah, I have put myself through a lot, I have a few notches on my belt and I have an opportunity here to apply what I have learned to my life now. The only true "mistake" is perhaps repeating the same thing over and over again, expecting something different to happen...
And here is what I learned most deeply, here is what I take with me into my third decade on this Earth: Self love, and authentic self worth and are the center point of a life well lived. Here’s a few tools I have discovered to begin the unfolding of the pathof Self Love:
1. Accept all that you find inside of yourself: What is self-love? To me, self love is being able to look yourself in the mirror and have an honest conversation.. it's about accepting all of the sh*t you find in yourself and still having the will to accept yourself.. to still treat yourself with dignity and respect despite not being or doing perfectly.
2. Forgive yourself for not being perfect. We all have moments of true self deprecation. Moments where we are so disappointed in what we said or did, that we can't look ourselves square in the face... it's picking ourselves up from this space, accepting our humanity, self awareness intact, and asking: "How can I improve upon this next time?" "How can I do this differently?" "How can I still love myself through this feeling of suffering?" "What does letting go of my past look like to me?" So much suffering is mitigated when we let ourselves up off of the mat, let go of what we did or didn't do and face each moment as new, to the best of our ability.
3. Spend time with yourself and open a conversation: If you aren’t willing to do this on your own, Life (or the Universe as I like it call it :) will most likely create situations forcing you to. Life crises or extremely challenging experiences are typically the way the Universe attempts to get our attention and invite us home into the solace of the Self. When you love yourself and you feel ok coming home into all that you are, it can cushion the blows that life sometimes offers. I taught a meditation course recently entitled, "Meditation for Self-Empowerment" I think a step towards embodying self-love is knowing how to face ourselves in silence and aloneness. Go to my meditations page and try it.
I send you love and I send love to the spaces in which you don't think you can love yourself. I will stay strong in this work and I pray you will too.